come what may

i remembered when ate mae, my friend balot's sister, marched down the aisle. i marveled at how beautiful she was that special day, dressed all in white. it wasn't her gown or make-up that radiated her beauty. it was the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes that convinced me she had to be the most beautiful bride i've seen in all the weddings i've attended so far. i swear i got goosebumps as i watched her slowly making her way towards her man, looking at his eyes all throughout the walk. i glimpsed at the man she was looking at and i felt myself catch my breath. there he was, standing, his hands discreetly shaking as he watched his beloved walk down their aisle. yet he was smiling, nervously, but still smiling as if his silence shouted all the feelings his heart couldn't contain and for a moment, i felt that their world stopped and we were merely dusts in their wind.

after that day, i was convinced that weddings are my favorite occasion. i always tag along my mom whenever she gets invited to one and i make it a point to pay attention, specifically, to the march down the aisle. and every moment, i still get that unexplainable feeling looking at both lovers as they stare into each other's eyes, probably exchanging their silent i love yous and vows of forever. looking at them, i swore to myself that someday, i'll be that girl. i'll be that girl who's looking at somebody's eyes, silently telling him how much i'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life and my life after that, with him. i'll be that girl who'll wake up next to him and serve him his breakfast, his lunch, his dinner, even his midnight snack. i'll be that girl who'll wake up just to pat his back when he's coughing uncontrollably in the middle of the night. and i will be that girl he'd be holding hands with when we have nothing to do, just watching the world speed by during our older years.

people say that girls plan their own wedding as early as their pre-school years and i must admit i'm part of that statistic. from beach to garden to castle wedding, i've visualized all of those scenes as part of my own wedding. in the past, my wedding plans have been all bleat and changing, no permanent theme, no permanent entourage, no permanent groom. but now, as i'm maturing and turning into a woman, i'm realizing certain aspects in my life that i want to be permanent in my wedding and in my life. i know for a fact that i want my mom to walk me down the aisle. i'll invite my dad of course but i want my mom to be the one to bring me to my new life as she was the one who saw and still sees me through my everyday life. she's the one who sacrificed her life to ensure that i will reach the time that i'll be facing the man who'll take care of me and i will to him for the rest of my life. i know i would want my six favorite girls and meg to be part of my entourage. my college friends as well as my office colleagues will be there also. there will be hundreds of flowers, no specific kind, but they will all be pink. i'm still undecided on my theme. i've been wanting to do a fairytale-inspired wedding ever since i watched got 2 believe. i've also realized that come what may is the only song that will played during my walk down the aisle. i can already envision myself walking down that aisle, dressed in my dream wedding gown. as for the groom? i pretty much have a clear vision of how he looks like. thinking about him now makes smile that big foolish smile. :D

at 23, i think that i'm too young and unprepared to get married (yes, my potential groom, don't get nervous yet. hehe :p ). probably two to three years from now i can say the opposite thing. but for now, i'll content with watching other people actualize their dream wedding. and someday, come what may, it will be my turn to fulfill mine. :)