another entry i did last year... thought to share with you my insights on the "other woman"...
...
Kabit... kerida... madrasta... sabit... ahas... home-wrecker... walang konsensya... imoral... malandi...
Lahat na ata ng masasakit na salita natawag na natin sa mga babaeng nagmamahal ng lalakeng may nauna ng minahal at minamahal... sa lahat na halos ng mga pinapanood at napanod na natin pelikula at palabas, laging sila yung kontrabida... kinaiinisan, sinisisi sa pagkasira ng ibang relasyon... sinisisi natin sila kung bakit nawalan ng ama yung isang bata o kung bakit walang tigil sa pag-iyak nung asawa o girlfriend nung lalakeng minamahal niya...
I grew up with this belief that all the "other women" are evil, created to tempt and destroy a happy and solid relationship... i grew up viewing them as selfish people who don't care about other people's feelings but their own... i despised the women who entered the lives of my friends' boyfriends and yanked them away from my friends' grasps... i'm laughing now remembering that i used to joke around with my friends that our group was cursed by leeches who can't seem to resist the charm of the unavailable... i even recall calling those girls by nasty pet names like "pugita", "pugits", "lamang dagat", "kampon ng karagatan" and so much more... i know it was mean on my part but i can't help myself... i've seen the effects they had on my friends... i saw how my friends' worlds crumbled when they found out that the men they thought they could trust, the men they shared their dreams with, the men they'd envisioned would be waiting by the altar for them, turned out to be sharing those dreams with someone else... i've seen how in a snap, my once confident and beaming friend, lost her smile and self-confidence... how with a snap of a finger, she became the ugliest girl in her own eyes... witnessing all these, i came to hate the men who broke their hearts... i grew disgusted of them... but my hate and disgust for them did not compare to how i felt for the girls who were the reasons for my friends' hurt...
the funny thing is, though, i accidentally caught this movie on tube... it portrayed the mistress in a different way, unusual from all the other characterizations we have seen so far... this movie got me rethinking about my perspective of mistresses, the other women... pano kaya kung ako yung kabit? ako yung tinatago... yung inuuwian sa hatinggabi at iniiwanan sa madaling araw? yung ngahihintay sa apartment sa pagdating ng lalakeng mahal ko tapos pag dumating siya, aalis naman agad kasi hinihintay na siya ng iba... yung pinapakilala bilang kaibigan, officemate, "acquaintance"? yung nasa likod, pumapalakpak at tahimik na pinagmamalaki yung lalakeng pinagkakaguluhan habang may isang babaeng yumayakap at humahalik sa kanya... at natutuwa yung mga tao... maririnig ko silang sinasabi na "uy, ang sweet naman nila! bagay talaga sila noh?"... titingin sila sakin at siyemre, ngingiti ako kahit pa sa mga oras na yun, parang gusto ko nang bumuka yun lupa at lamunin ako para lang hindi ko na makita yung mga nangyayari...
i've never been the other woman... i've never felt how it was to be in a mistress' shoe... and i don't ever want to be in one... i don't want to imagine how it feels to love someone whom i know has another that he loves, probably more than he loves me... how it hurts to share the main source of my happiness with another... how painful it is to be with someone knowing that later this evening, he'll be in the arms of another... and what can be more painful than knowing that you cannot demand to be the only one, since he's already committed even before you came... and all you can do is either love him and share him with the legal one, or leave so that he can right his mistakes...
ngayon, hindi ko na sila kinasusuklaman... mas nasusuklam ako sa mga lalakeng pinapaasa pa sila kahit na may ibang taong minamahal at nagmamahal na sa kanila... yung mga lalakeng walang kaalam-alam kung gano kasakit matawag na kerida, kabit, ahas, malandi, sabit, imoral at home-wrecker... yung mga lalakeng hindi nararamdaman kung gano kahirap magkaron ng kahati sa puso ng taong minamahal nila...
this realization also gave me a new-found respect and love for the man who's in my life right now... i may not be his first girlfriend and i don't know if i'll be his last, but i know and i can feel with each moment that we're together (and even in the times that we're not), he loves me truthfully and respects me... and with the many selfish men lurking around, i've found someone whom i can trust and not regret giving my heart to...
Lahat na ata ng masasakit na salita natawag na natin sa mga babaeng nagmamahal ng lalakeng may nauna ng minahal at minamahal... sa lahat na halos ng mga pinapanood at napanod na natin pelikula at palabas, laging sila yung kontrabida... kinaiinisan, sinisisi sa pagkasira ng ibang relasyon... sinisisi natin sila kung bakit nawalan ng ama yung isang bata o kung bakit walang tigil sa pag-iyak nung asawa o girlfriend nung lalakeng minamahal niya...
I grew up with this belief that all the "other women" are evil, created to tempt and destroy a happy and solid relationship... i grew up viewing them as selfish people who don't care about other people's feelings but their own... i despised the women who entered the lives of my friends' boyfriends and yanked them away from my friends' grasps... i'm laughing now remembering that i used to joke around with my friends that our group was cursed by leeches who can't seem to resist the charm of the unavailable... i even recall calling those girls by nasty pet names like "pugita", "pugits", "lamang dagat", "kampon ng karagatan" and so much more... i know it was mean on my part but i can't help myself... i've seen the effects they had on my friends... i saw how my friends' worlds crumbled when they found out that the men they thought they could trust, the men they shared their dreams with, the men they'd envisioned would be waiting by the altar for them, turned out to be sharing those dreams with someone else... i've seen how in a snap, my once confident and beaming friend, lost her smile and self-confidence... how with a snap of a finger, she became the ugliest girl in her own eyes... witnessing all these, i came to hate the men who broke their hearts... i grew disgusted of them... but my hate and disgust for them did not compare to how i felt for the girls who were the reasons for my friends' hurt...
the funny thing is, though, i accidentally caught this movie on tube... it portrayed the mistress in a different way, unusual from all the other characterizations we have seen so far... this movie got me rethinking about my perspective of mistresses, the other women... pano kaya kung ako yung kabit? ako yung tinatago... yung inuuwian sa hatinggabi at iniiwanan sa madaling araw? yung ngahihintay sa apartment sa pagdating ng lalakeng mahal ko tapos pag dumating siya, aalis naman agad kasi hinihintay na siya ng iba... yung pinapakilala bilang kaibigan, officemate, "acquaintance"? yung nasa likod, pumapalakpak at tahimik na pinagmamalaki yung lalakeng pinagkakaguluhan habang may isang babaeng yumayakap at humahalik sa kanya... at natutuwa yung mga tao... maririnig ko silang sinasabi na "uy, ang sweet naman nila! bagay talaga sila noh?"... titingin sila sakin at siyemre, ngingiti ako kahit pa sa mga oras na yun, parang gusto ko nang bumuka yun lupa at lamunin ako para lang hindi ko na makita yung mga nangyayari...
i've never been the other woman... i've never felt how it was to be in a mistress' shoe... and i don't ever want to be in one... i don't want to imagine how it feels to love someone whom i know has another that he loves, probably more than he loves me... how it hurts to share the main source of my happiness with another... how painful it is to be with someone knowing that later this evening, he'll be in the arms of another... and what can be more painful than knowing that you cannot demand to be the only one, since he's already committed even before you came... and all you can do is either love him and share him with the legal one, or leave so that he can right his mistakes...
ngayon, hindi ko na sila kinasusuklaman... mas nasusuklam ako sa mga lalakeng pinapaasa pa sila kahit na may ibang taong minamahal at nagmamahal na sa kanila... yung mga lalakeng walang kaalam-alam kung gano kasakit matawag na kerida, kabit, ahas, malandi, sabit, imoral at home-wrecker... yung mga lalakeng hindi nararamdaman kung gano kahirap magkaron ng kahati sa puso ng taong minamahal nila...
this realization also gave me a new-found respect and love for the man who's in my life right now... i may not be his first girlfriend and i don't know if i'll be his last, but i know and i can feel with each moment that we're together (and even in the times that we're not), he loves me truthfully and respects me... and with the many selfish men lurking around, i've found someone whom i can trust and not regret giving my heart to...
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