she's standing in front of you but you can't see
you're staring right through her
she's holding out her heart for you to have
but that simple gift is not enough
she takes all the pain just to see you
even from a far, just to breathe the same air you do
she smiles when she sees your eyes twinkle
and cries with you in all your struggles
for her you're the world
and yet you don't even know she exists
your name is what she lives and breathes
and she wants nothing more
just to hold you and make you feel
the beating of her heart that gives her the will
and whisper to your ears, just this time
"i wish you were mine..."
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i was inspired to write this composition after i watched 200 pounds of beauty. hanna is a lively and good-hearted girl who dreams of singing onstage in front of an audience cheering her name. like any other girl, she dreams of spending her life with her prince charming. the world, though, has been cruel to her. though she was gifted with a talent beautiful personality, she was not blessed with external beauty, the kind of beauty that most girls desire to achieve. she's not slim like all the supermodels and she's not as pretty as those seen in tv. though she knows the things she's lacking, she's still optimistic that one day she'll be noticed and loved by the man she's secretly adoring, sang-jun.
but she's not living the fairytale life. people played on her insecurities and made her believe that she is worthless without the beauty that people covet. through her struggle, she was gradually dying, losing all her will to live and fight for herself.
and just when the last ounce of her will was about to wilt, she decided to change her life, drastically. she went under the knife and assumed a stranger's identity. she buried hanna and embraced jenny: the beautiful and desired beauty. she started gaining the adoration and love she never dream of having. then, fame and success gradually knocked on her door. she took it all in and embraced her new life, a life that miles different from the life hanna has lived. yet all the success and love she's been getting still could not take away her insecurities because she knows deep down that she's living the life of stranger and not of her own. people love the beautiful jenny and not the lively hanna.
just when she was reaching the peak of her career, she decided to introduce hanna to the world that embraced her as a natural beauty. she revealed her true identity and spoke from her heart. she recalled her painful journey to achieving the beauty she thought would bring her happiness and the man she loves but ended up hurting herself and the people who love her unconditionally. she asked for forgiveness and asked not to be loved but be accepted for who she truly is, an imperfect woman who just wishes to live a happy life.
just like hanna, i'm far from perfect. i don't have a coca cola body and lack the height required for a model. i grow pimples and get bruised. i don't have a perfect complexion, much more a flawless skin but you see, i won't be able to be genuinely happy if i don't embrace who i am and how i look. yes, i try different ways to get fit but i found that the more i try to be like all the other beautiful girls, the more i hurt myself because i know, i can never be like them. because i was fated to be me, dulay. the lively, cheerful and optimistic dulay. 
